Coping During the Holidays
For many people, the
Holiday season is a time for excitement and happiness. This
is when families are "supposed" to join together and enjoy the warmth
and comfort of being surrounded with love. However, for many people, this
"family love" is not so warm and comfy.
There are other
people who look at the Holidays as a stressed-filled time full of
disappointment, anxiety, and sadness. Why would some people feel depressed? Oh,
the reasons are endless.
We all become sad
sometimes. We all have bad days. If you find yourself crying constantly, unable
to climb out of bed in the morning, and thinking unpleasant thoughts of suicide
for more than two weeks, you may have depression-along with millions of others.
When some folks
think of the Holidays, they tend to glorify them. A family crowding around a
beautiful, well-lit Christmas tree, singing carols and sipping spiked eggnog. A
warm fire crackles and falling snow seen through the bay window.
So, when
dysfunctional family of 4 shows up with nary a present in tow, refuses to sing
carols because one light on your Christmas tree burnt out, and now the entire
tree is dim, and the spiked eggnog is saved for another day because Uncle Joe
is an alcoholic-they become disillusioned by the whole affair. Also, the fact
that your sister has given you the silent treatment every year because you
stole her seventh-grade boyfriend doesn't help, either. Ah, reality.
Coping
Method: Realize your family is not
perfect. Set realistic goals for yourself. For example, don’t expect to talk
into the wee hours of the night with the relative who you are not close with.
Holidays do not automatically mean that you will renew lost relationships. Just
try to leave those old feelings of bitterness behind you, and see what the
season brings.
If our family is
"crazy" we want to be alone, but when we are alone, we just want a
"crazy" family. Being alone during the Holidays can cause depression
for many. Without loved ones to help decorate the tree or light the Menorah,
many people feel lonely and sad. So many sappy Christmas specials on TV that
show how wonderful the Holidays can be with others, but having no one to spend
Holidays with.
Coping
Method: If you are alone this Holiday season, you do not have to be. Volunteer in your community. Do
something for someone else to take your mind off of yourself. Spend the
Holidays with other caring folks, and you will not feel so alone.
Financial situations
can cause stress and worry, and possible depression. Saving money during the
Holidays is like breathing underwater-impossible. Between traveling, gifts,
food, and entertainment, the Holidays can cost a fortune. Compiling your
shopping list while keeping your budget, drives many people to drink-and not
just eggnog. Then people are left with huge credit card bills and even more
stress.
Coping
Method: Remember, true friends do not
care what you buy them. They are most likely thinking about what to give you!
Stick to a price limit, and keep that limit low. For example, have your circle
of friends only buy gifts for under $10 each. Remember homemade gifts and cheap
gag gifts make wonderful presents!
"No, no,
no…," you are thinking, "My family is wonderful. We are close and
actually enjoy each others' company." So, then why are you depressed every
Holiday season? Your environment can be a factor that causes
the Holiday Blues.
As the Holiday months roll around, so does the Earth. In most areas of the U.S. the days become shorter in the winter, meaning the
sun sets in the early evening. This untimely darkness has a negative effect on
many people. They suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, a mood disorder
appropriately acronym-ed SAD.
Coping
Method: Speak with your doctor or a
mental health professional. Perhaps he/she can recommend a treatment for your
wintertime depression. You do not have to spend the Holidays in a frozen funk.
Depression hits when
people are saddened by stresses in their lives. For many people, the
relationships they keep with their family members and financial difficulties
can cause conflict at any time, not just during the Holidays. Reality is, not
all families get along. Not everyone has family. Not everyone has money to
spend. Once people realize not all Holidays are magical like a Hallmark card,
then perhaps expectations can be minimized and realistic, leaving you to relax
and enjoy the time.
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